Pastor Chelsea Harmon, from the Reformed Church congregation in Langley, writes “In other years, [on the 4th Sunday of Advent] we hear the stories about Mary and Elizabeth saying yes to God; this year we hear about how Joseph said yes, learned a new measure of righteousness, and how his obedience supported another’s calling.” Indeed, while most years this is Mary’s Sunday, in this year’s lectionary Joseph steps out of the shadows. (Spoiler alert: in part because of this, Mary comes back to centre stage in this year’s Christmas Eve service!!)
Although the holy family of
Jesus, Mary and Joseph is held in high esteem, the Bible tells us little about
Joseph, and that has left us yearning for more. Countless generations have wanted
to know more about him: his life’s story, his relationship with God, and how he
received the news of a completely unexpected pregnancy. And while the whole notion of virgin birth may
stretch our 21st century sensibilities, this is one of many places
in the Bible where there is so much to learn by entering into the world of this
story as it unfolds before us, to be curious rather than dismissive of the interactions
between the characters in the story and their gracious, eternal God. However we
take it, this story of the birth of Immanuel, God-with-Us, speaks of the
intimacy God desires with us, and the role that common folk can play in making
that divine intimacy embodied and real.
Given how little the Bible
tells us about Joseph, it comes as no surprise that traditions have sprung up
over the ages to fil the information gap. One tradition, is that Mary and
Joseph had known each other for a long time, both growing up at Nazareth in
Galilee. Imagine the level of shame and
betrayal that this Joseph would have experienced, at hearing that his
betrothed, Mary, was with child. They
would have been the talk of the town, with all the intersections between
families in a small town like Nazareth, and any plans that they or their
families had mapped out would have come crashing down just like that. That Joseph, I imagine, would have been
deeply hurt and may have been tempted to use the legal and religious recourse
available to him, to punish Mary for what would have felt like a shared future,
shattered.
A second tradition, is that
Joseph was from Bethlehem. Not just that
his family was from Bethlehem, as per Luke’s account of a census that hailed
Jews to their ancestral hometowns, but that Bethlehem was Joseph’s home.
If this is true, picture Joseph not so
much as a tradesman with a nicely established business in his hometown of
Nazareth, but as a working man from down south, seeking to ply his trade up
north in Galilee… following the work, as still happens, particularly if you
work in construction or resource extraction.
While most Bible translations
refer to Joseph as a “carpenter,” the Greek word so translated, Tekton,
was broader than that: a builder, an architect, a stonemason, a tradesman. It’s a good thing he didn’t just rely on
carpentry, for wood is fairly scarce Galilee, whereas black basalt stone was
plentiful, and homes and even furniture tended to be made from that. As posited by James Fleming, “Joseph would
have formed and made nine out of ten projects from stone, either by chiseling
or carving the stone or stacking building blocks.”
Further to this notion, in
the days of Joseph, up in Galilee, the Romans had some huge construction
projects needing lots of workers, both skilled and unskilled. Is it hard to imagine Joseph heading up there
to get work, and finding himself drawn to this small-town girl named Mary? Not to my mind it isn’t. And if this version of Joseph were to
hear that Mary was expecting, well, what would his response be? Could be that he knew other couples in the
same situation and he’d just roll with it… or since he was basically unknown up
there, it could be that it would be much easier to just divorce her, leave town,
and head back south to Bethlehem.
A third portrait of Joseph
focuses not on where he was from, but when.
This widespread tradition imagines him as much, much, much older than
Mary. In this tradition, we envision an
arranged marriage, the local matchmakers finding a solid, thoughtful, respectable
man for young Mary. This Joseph could
have been a widower – which smooths out references in the gospels of the siblings
of Jesus, for those asserting the perpetual virginity of Mary – and it also
explains why only Mary was present at the foot of the cross rather than Mary
and Joseph, for Joseph would have died long since.
And how would this Joseph
have taken the news, that his young, betrothed one was with child? This older Joseph, methinks, may have had the
savvy to give it a few days – to listen to what the God-inspired dream was
telling him about his young bride – and to step back from revenge. This older Joseph may be less concerned about
what other people would think, though I suspect he would not have been eager to
tell his previous family about it.
As I hear these possible
“back-stories” about Joseph, I find myself drawn to doing two things… and then
a third thing comes to mind, too.
First, I want to express
gratitude to any of these versions of Joseph for holding such compassion for
his betrothed, Mary, and for his openness to listen to what God was telling him
to do, even at the risk of embarrassment or judgment by his family and
neighbours. The cultural pressures
pressing him to divorce Mary would have been strong, and while rarely used, the
law did permit that a woman caught in such circumstances could be put to death
by stoning,. And yet, sensing God in the
midst of this mess in ways he could not understand, Joseph chose something
else. Whether he was guided by a
dream, a holy visitor, or just his conscience, Joseph was inspired by God to choose
a different response that would require him to stretch, a lot… and he did.
But after expressing that
gratitude for Joseph, I acknowledge with dismay how often stories like this
still happen in our world. Mary then,
and hundreds of millions of women now, have little or no agency to actually
direct their lives: the thing to happen next in her life is decided by someone
else, a man following the rules of patriarchy. Without downplaying the gracious
and courageous course of action taken by Joseph, he had the benefit of
privilege that Mary did not have and that describes the life of far too
many women at this very moment.
In the world of 2025
patriarchy still runs rampant, with some 22 million women in forced marriages
where they have no say over their lives, and countless others with limited
agency, no voting rights, little access to education, and no pathway to careers. On top of that, there are nations where the
rights of women, which were already behind the rights of men, are being
dismantled as patriarchy reasserts itself in the halls of power, in one
populist regime after another. And it’s
not just governments; our Abrahamic faiths of Judaism, Christianity and Islam, also
have much to answer for in this. In the
story of Joseph we have a ray of hope for those who assert God’s just,
equitable ways, but the struggle is real.
And from a very personal
standpoint – particularly on this Sunday when we have lit the candle of JOY – I
need to say one more thing. A few weeks
ago, I brought forward the words of Bishop T. Garrot Benjamin, Jr., who told us
that in order to find God’s purpose for our lives, as individuals and as
Churches, we need to identify our passion by “following the tracks of our
tears”. As our grandson, Jamie, has
brought smiles and giggles into our lives, I am reminded that ever since I
became a father some thirty-seven years ago, I have been moved to tears when I
see dads and kids. It warms my heart
when I see dads carrying diaper bags and pushing strollers, dads encouraging
and nurturing their children, dads playing with their kids on a playground, dads
comforting their children at times of injury or distress. I celebrate the dads and Granddads who
coached baseball with me and the dads, stepdads, uncles and neighbours who
helped me many years ago, when I was the Akela to a group of Cubs. While I primarily think of Joseph as someone
who graciously stepped back from making life unlivable for Mary, today I also want
to imagine the joy he gained from his choice: he got to experience the joy of parenting
the young child Jesus. While it’s
uncertain whether Jesus grew up to be a Tekton like Joseph, it’s not hard to
picture Joseph showing his son the tools of the trade, much in the way that my
father-in-law, Del, whose skills in stonemasonry, auto mechanics and all manner
of tinkering got shared with his children, nephews and neighbour kids. Thinking of the fresh joy that entered Joseph’s
life at saying yes to God truly brings a smile to my face on this Sunday of
Joy.
Whether the decision about what to do with Mary’s news was made by Joseph the childhood sweetheart, or Joseph the megaproject worker from out of town, or wise old established Joseph, I am glad he chose as he did. I celebrate the way that his choice enabled Mary not only to live, but to fulfill her calling as the one who would nurture the Christ Child, even as I reject the notion that that Mary’s future should ever have been solely in Joseph’s hands. I long for a world where Mary has complete self-determination, where the choices regarding her life, her future, her safety, are hers to make and hers alone, believing that in the Kin-dom of God power does not follow lines of gender. And I offer my heartfelt prayer, for all men blessed with the opportunity to be an influence in a child’s life – as a father, stepfather, grandfather, uncle, coach, teacher or activity leader – that they may embrace that with vulnerability, kindness, respect and lots of joy. May all this be so. Amen.
References cited or
consulted:
https://www.antislavery.org/slavery-today/modern-slavery/
Fleming, James W. – accessed
at https://www.christianpost.com/news/jesus-carpenter-or-stonemason.html
Harmon, Chelsea. https://cepreaching.org/commentary/2022-12-12/matthew-118-25-3/
Merritt, Jonathan. https://www.jonathanmerritt.com/article/2020/7/19/how-the-hebrew-bible-dismantles-the-patriarchy
Souvay, Charles. https://www.newadvent.org/cathen/08504a.htm
Stroman, Jack. https://www.tallahassee.com/story/life/faith/2017/12/22/what-josephs-role-christmas-story/976519001/
“What about the children?” a
1998 VHS resource of Light of the World Christian Church, Indianapolis,
Indiana.
© 2025 Rev Greg Wooley,
Osoyoos-Oliver United Church Pastoral Charge.
